The Original Pancake House--Denver

303-795-0573

I had to visit Denver for numerous family reasons, and therefore due to my reputation had to succumb to my family dishing up the best that this town of rich hill billy's had to offer.  If you haven't realized this before there's not much to offer anyone who has live in Northern California or New York.  And before any of my beloved nine blast me for being and ignoramus, know that I know I'm an ignoramus, thus nullifying your claim as a self-aware ignoramus creates quite a logical contradiction.  Check mate.

Anyway, I put on a brave face and went to this pancake franchise based out of Oregon.  Then I waited an hour with two dozen other hungry people in the parking lot of a strip mall, most of whom wore a Broncos jersey with loose fitting stone-washed wrangler jeans.  We were about to go to a football game to watch the Denver Broncos annihilate the Cardinals, so time was relatively short.  It was painstaking how nice people were about waiting.  I was going apeshit, partly due to the wait, partly due to my hangover, and partly due to my company, i.e., my immediate family.

Okay.  A lot of nothing so far.  Shut the fuck up Iconman, how was the food? They were pancakes. After hearing my family go on and on I was expecting gold turds on a plate.  They served pancakes. The degree between a fantastic pancake and an okay pancake is rather slim, so I can't really say I was wowed.  Mcdonalds has pancakes that taste about the same, except you don't wait an hour. Furthermore, I was told I had to try the bacon.  Okay, no problem there.  The bacon?  Thick cut! What a revelation, it is thick cut bacon.  And the OJ?  Fresh squeezed in a carafe!  Holy smokes these people have literally re-invented the wheel.

The only thing more insulting is a cow-poke introducing me to a breakfast every major hotel in NYC offers for free, is the same cow-poke having no fucking earthly idea how to serve said breakfast. When delivering the best pancakes on the planet, it's a good idea to also deliver syrup less than a minute after delivering the pancakes.  And when you pour coffee, you should also offer milk.  Not cream, which seems to be a standard anywhere between the Hudson and the San Joaquin.

Okay.  I've had my fill of the midwest.  They're good pancakes, but they're not that good.