Nassau, Bahamas

Now we're talking.  Sun, warmth, tourists everywhere.  I finally put myself in a position to get my snob on.  And believe me, I was due.

So there are two places to mention about Nassau, which for those who are not familiar, is the Capital city of the Bahamas on New Providence Island, not the island itself.  And I should also throw in that neither of these restaurants is on Paradise Island, the island just to the east of New Providence famed for its celebrity sightings and the sprawling mega-resort Atlantis, which, though cool for anyone under the age of 12, has very little to offer unless you drive a million dollar yacht.

The first place was simply cool--the Greycliff hotel.  Up a bit off of the beach this place is known for its cigars, old world luxury, and the only place I've ever been that made me feel as though I was a slave owner.  Seriously, everyone of the employees is a well-spoken, well-trained dark skinned human being, with one fat, cigar smoking, cane-holding good-ol-boy sitting on a stool watching them do there thing and collecting obscene amounts of money.  There were at least six servers that touched our table, and when one of them delivered a Hemingway daiquiri incorrectly, I'm pretty sure that she was flogged later that night.  Offensive racial introduction aside, make no mistake this place is expensive.  I'm talking 11 Madison Park expensive.  Per Se expensive.  And believe me when I state it is not pushing the limits of the culinary experience--though Madison Park could take a tip or two about the service.

The food?  Meh.  It's sufficient.  Here's one thing I've learned over the years about vacationing in the Carribean.  Restaurants import talented chef's that design interesting menus.  They import every ingredient needed by sea plane on a daily basis.  They deliver impressive presentations using all of the available resources possible, and then the food comes out just a little flat.  It's like fine dining in Ohio or something, there just isn't that next level quality that you get in major cities.  I've heard theories this has to do with the water, at least in NY, and that might make sense.  I posit, however, that it has more to do with the fact that every single ingredient, save some locally caught fish, is  dipped in petroleum just to get to the island.  It's mother nature's curse.  Sure you can have foie gras, but it's gonna be two days old at a minimum.

Anyway, Greycliff is at least an interesting experience to see this level of service coupled with a true old world atmosphere. The dining room has so many cool, old antique wares you feel as though you're eating in a museum.  If you got a thousand bucks to piss away, it is worth staying a night and having dinner and checking out their Fitzgeraldesque pool.

For the rest of us there's Luciano's of Chicago restaurant.  Located right outside Nassau proper on a beautiful Marina, Luciano's also has local servers, but somehow they don't come off as indentured servants from Ghana.  The food is affordable and delicious.  Considering my prevailing theory above, Italian cuisine, as opposed to French Cuisine, can maintain a freshness easier owing to the fact you're making pasta day of, red sauce day of, etc... The food here was so consistent and enjoyable we didn't risk fucking up a good thing and instead and went there twice.  Oh, and it was also half the price of the Greycliff.