Arturo's--Maplewood, NJ

(973) 378-5800

Oh Beloved nine.  Tragedy has befallen the Iconman.  Yep, like all good things his sojourn in Brooklyn has come to an end.  He, like so many brave souls before him, has embarked on a mission to make everything better outside of the outer boroughs.  And like the phoenix must rise from the ashes and start a new.

What to say about Arturo's brick oven pizza?  It's the only game in town.  Literally, it is the only decent place to eat, congregate, make merry, etc in the entire town.  To be fair, it's a pretty small place, Maplewood.  Word on the street is that it's all but impossible to get a liquor license, which would explain the BYOB policy.    None the less if you happen to be lost around Newark, and somehow stumble into this sleepy little suburban oasis, Arturo's is the only place you will want to park and get some grub.

How's the food?  Passable.  Pretty good by my standards, but that's like throwing a virgin in a whorehouse and asking him thirty seconds later if he fell in love.  Actually, scratch that, as it makes no sense whatsoever.  The food is fine--the service unrefined and barely legal.  I had some raviolis and they delivered with one six different salads as the entrees come with a side salad, and we ordered the same salads to start--see above unrefined service.  Evidently,  they like you to be regular in Maplewood.

The wine was exceptional as I bought what I wanted since the place is BYOB.  I had a sancerre.  I had to ask the waiter to get ice maybe fifteen times.  His voice cracked, so I think I might have scared him.  Anyway, it's the only gig in town so I played nice and left a big tip.  I'm sure he's gonna spend it on baseball cards that will end up in the back wheel of his bike.  Yep, it's like that.